Meeting the Parents

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/7517673]

I’m in LOVE… but will my parents think? :) Lacey and Jessica explore this sometimes-difficult predicament. How to prepare your loved ones and your folks for the primal meeting. This is one episode you don’t want to miss, J & L will teach you how to make it work.

Love is always the answer… :)

PS If you’re having trouble viewing this episode via facebook just click this http://www.vimeo.com/7517673

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12 Responses to Meeting the Parents

  1. Wendy in Oz says:

    I wish that I had seen this a couple of years ago, great tips, yes I agree don’t whine about the girlfriend to the parents, family or friends…. sure way to mess up a relationship. Thanks for the resources you girls are great :)

  2. Emptyinbetween says:

    I think it’s important to give your parents also some background information about your gf before introducing her to them. This might come in hand when they’re trying to figure out this person that is now in their child’s life. And usually with new relationships, people tend to change a bit (can be positive as well as negative), and who better to notice this than the parents/people closest to you. Because people are different, come from different cultures and so on, they do have different ways of behaving and if your parents know this before hand, some uncomfortable situations can be avoided and of course they’ll be able to understand her if they know the background of this person.

    Maybe it would be nice to go deeper into these cultural/behavioral differences and how to cope with them – probably you too have different ways of behaving and thinking as well…

  3. dens13 says:

    Lacey and Jessica-

    What a great topic….loved the vlog, and the suggestions! i will DEFINITELY be using those
    next time around! As you both said, i think meeting the parents is tough for anyone….i mean they made a MOVIE about it! Poor Ben Stiller..haha. but it even turned out okay for him in the end!
    For me, this topic is one that is SO important and also very tough to navigate. When I first came out to my parents, I included the fact that I was dating my girlfriend. She and I had been friends for several years prior, so my parents already knew her pretty well… At the time, I thought in my head “my parents know her, they know she’s a great person, so this will be great! they will love her as my girlfriend also”. NOT so much. Instead, in their struggle to accept my coming out, they (my mom mostly) looked at my girlfriend as this person who “Converted” me and “changed” me into being gay. This obviously was not the case. I was really disheartened and it actually made it even MORE difficult. But I made a promise to myself to keep talking openly about my relationship with them, to normalize it, and to let them know that I was serious. I encouraged my girlfriend to come home with me and visit my parents, so that they all could get to know each other better.

    (Here’s where the tough part comes in….)

    So my mom is Deaf and my dad is Hard of Hearing…. I grew up using Sign Language at home….SO, anyone outside my family must communicate with my parents via me as an interpreter (unless they know sign language).
    While this may seem “cool” at first, it actually throws a huge wrench into forming close relationships…Most of my friends walk into my house, smile at my mom, wave Hello, and thats it. There’s rarely an effort to make conversation beyond that. And while I realize that it must be quite intimidating to be in their shoes, its also frustrating for me that none of my friends (and my girlfriend) ever got close to my parents.
    SOOOO, in the instances that my girlfriend DID accompany me to visit my parents, it wasn’t like she and my mom could sit and strike up random conversation for a few minutes…there was a lot more effort required for every ounce of communication they had. And, because they both felt awkward about the situation, both of them were sort of reluctant to take those extra steps to communicate.
    It was extremely difficult, to say the least. But I think we all have issues/circumstances that make Meeting the Parents a unique experience…and actually, after watching the vlog, reflecting back on my personal story, and then writing this, I have realized that it doesnt always have to be an obstacle…and that there are ways around everything. Like you said- if you want it, you can make it work….thats a very positive thought.
    I’m really hopeful for the outcome next time around!

    Thanks again for such a thought-provoking topic and vlog. You both rock.

    love from Boston

    Michelle

    • jessica clark says:

      Hi Michelle,
      Thank you for sharing your story and insights around this subject as you have both a fairly unique perspective and also a very positive take on the whole situation. I totally agree that such a situation makes an already emotional meeting more complex. I see some parallels perhaps when two people from dramatically different cultures fall in love; there’s a language barrier often with the parents, and then also, food, music, scents, humor, religious appropriateness and a whole host of other things. I come from a very mixed ethnic background and so identify with your story on that level.
      I am like you though.. I truly believe that if the two people in the relationship are both dedicated to building bridges and prepared to stay the course…. because sometimes this things can take years to feel natural, then it is possible. And it’s worth it if we’re lucky and there is love there with our parents to begin with.

      Thanks again for sharing. YOU rock!!

  4. Rebecca says:

    Straight or gay it’s sheer luck to be loved by parents. Ultimately you are with the one you love your just lucky if you’re liked by both sides. Every parent on this universe wants their child to be happy cause that’s what counts. You want to tell me you dumped that “bitch” simply cause of your moms smirk??!!

    Just curious why you ladies do not change background location? Not that your boring to look at :) BTW your matching engagement rings are nice.

    I was wondering what your thoughts are on emotional (non sexual) connection with someone other than your girlfriend? Is it still cheating?

  5. jessica clark says:

    Hahah, Hi Rebecca, always saying it exactly as it is :)

    Thank you for the compliments re our engagements rings! In terms of our vlog we are going to be experimenting with different set- ups and styles for sure, but we really wanted to get into our groove content wise first (and see if ya’all like us ;) )!

    As for your question on emotional (no sexual) connections with somebody other than your girlfriend… I think that’s a GREAT vlog topic! Our viewers are giving some GREAT suggestions for topics and we’re definitely going to take our cues from you and start covering them! Keep ‘em coming please.. they’re very inspiring!

    Thanks Rebecca :)

  6. Ellen says:

    This is so true! My mom always said that she would like or dislike the guy I was with based on what I told her about him—not what he was like in person.

  7. Kimberly says:

    Ladies, great topic! My beautiful wife and I have been together for over 12 years. In that time we have only shared one christmas together. Her parents are very important to her but her parents refuse to accept her lifestyle so they never really wanted to know I existed. My family loves my wife very much and we spend all the other holidays together. The one christmas we spent together was recently when my wife was in the hospital recovering from a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer(not a great Christmas!). Her parents flew into town for the procedure and it was our first encounter. My wife said she regretted the encounter more then the operation, a comment that broke my heart. They have “known” about me for years but would never call the house or ask her personal questions about her life. In my wifes condition her parents and I were forced to spend time together and we ended up talking alot. I think a light bulb went off and they realized that our relationship although a gay one was a very loving and normal one. My wife’s father is polite to me now but still not accepting, however her mom asks about me all the time. My wife told me that her mom likes me better than her son-in-law which made me realize just how much I won her over. I never pressured my wife to choose between her family and myself, I knew we would always be together long afte her parents would pass away and would spend our Christmas together then. But now that I have this relationship with her mom, I regret the 11 years that we lost. My wife is doing great now emotionally and physically. I think her mom and I getting along has helped her recovery emotionally and physically she just rode 100 miles(century ride). Keep up the good job ladies and thank you both for being honest and sharing your opinions and personal relationship with us.

  8. jessica clark says:

    Kimberly thank you so much for sharing such an inspiring story with us all. I am so glad that your wife has fully recovered (the century ride is IMPRESSIVE :) ) and the fact that such a blessing came out of such trauma is exhilarating! You have given me the warm and fuzzies. Thank you so much and we wish you, your wife and all your family a very happy festive season.

  9. Phie says:

    i met my future mother in law when we watch a concert of an artisit she’s very fond of.. my girlfrend often tell stories about me to her mom so her mom became familiar with with me.
    i was so scared when i first met her, but we kicked it off. it also helps to be your self ’cause it’ll make you more confident… and it worked the same way with me.. i keep telling mom stories about her…

    about the part on seeing ur wife in her mom.. i think it’s a bit true..

    hahaha :D

    btw, it would be great to discuss long distance rel. time as a factor in a relationship… i know i’ve read it somewhere here.. but it will be nice to hear you two talk about it.. something to look forward to.. and learn…. i’m loving this blog more and more… post per post… hehehe :D

    sending the love aqui en southeast asia!.. :D

  10. Courtney says:

    “I’m a lucky girl, Hey Louise!”

    Hahaha that was hilarious.

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